fredag den 25. maj 2012

Love Languages

Sometimes a particular trend seems to catch my eye everywhere I look, and I always take that as a serious hint from the unconscious about something I would benefit from offering some attention. Right now it appears to be The 5 Love Languages that has caught my inner eye. It is a theory developed by Gary Chapman to help people gain consciousness about the different ways of expressing and wanting to receive love in close relationships, in order to make better way for love and understanding. (I remember two sources clearly: here an here (both in Danish) - just to get that straight).

As always, I get more occupied by the thoughts that I produce myself when grasping the larger point than by digging into the depth of the theories for details and dry knowledge, but that is how I enjoy it the most, and that is what I am going to do in this case too. (I can dig if I have to, but this is my queendom and I rule here, so ..).

I know which two love languages are my primary and my secondary language. It took me about two seconds to realize, and then about three seconds to imagine what that means in my closest relations. It was fine and handy and eye opening, but not exactly seminal.

But then it struck me: What about in regard to my relationship to life as a whole? Is there a connection between what I prioritize and put my focus on in life at large and my primary love language(s), and how does this connection or absent connection influence my joy of life? Do I put forward my primary and maybe also my secondary love language in my relationship with society and in the kind of work or the effort I have chosen to do in this life? And is there something to learn about why I feel at home in my life or not?

Let me be personal and more earthy, just for the sake of the example. I hope you can replace my love languages with your own (if they differ) realizing that one very important point, that no love language is better or worse than the others. They are all equally "right", it all depends on what you prefer or what comes more natural to you.

My primary love language is 'Word of Affirmation', followed very closely by 'Quality Time' (I do not like that expression, but never mind ..). The questions for me to answer will then be: Do I build my life around words to affirm both myself and others, and do I make time for 'full, undivided attention' in my life, both privately and socially? And do I give less attention to work, relations and any other arrangements that are wrapped around the other three love languages, 'Acts of Service' and 'Receiving Gifts' being my most foreign languages? And last, but not least: Is there vital information about what could make me feel more at home in my life, embedded in this analysis and the answers coming up?

Well, I'll leave the questions blowing in the wind for now, giving them some more sincere consideration.

Maybe this is part of the theory, and maybe I would find the same thoughts if I really took the time to dig - I will leave that blowing in the wind as well. (There is always something blowing in the wind, isn't that one of the most wonderful things about life?).

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PS. Just a wild thought in addition: Have you ever wondered what love language you speak and like to be spoken to in as a blogger? (If you are a blogger, of course).